Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Power of the Fiction Writer.

Last Sunday I had a run-in with a really unpleasant woman. Well, not a run-in since I can't walk right now. It was at my health club and I had left my clothes in the handicapped changing room while I went to do my pool exercises. When I returned she was in there and responded to my tap on the door by saying "Go away, I'm in here showering five children." So I sat in my wheelchair dripping wet. She refused to respond so I could at least retrieve my stuff. She refused two different employees knocks. And when she came out TWENTY MINUTES LATER she said, "I have as much right to be in there as you." When I pointed out that my stuff was in the locker she said, "Then you'll know next time not to leave it there." Such compassion.

However, I have the trump card. I am going to kill her.
In my next book.
She will die a slow and painful death.

This is the power of the fiction writer. Anyone who has seriously pissed us off we can get our own back on the page. We can humiliate those who tried to humiliate us. We can even kill without worry about going to jail. Sue Grafton started her mystery series to kill off her ex husband.  And psychologically it's terrific. We feel so much better afterward and don't carry a hurt or a grudge.

That's why mystery writers are such nice, well-adjusted people. We carry no baggage. We bury it and enjoy every moment of it. So look out for yourself, lady. You'll be the corpse.

9 comments:

  1. Oh, I am laughing.......I never thought about that. :-)

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  2. As long as it isn't Georgie who kills her :)

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  3. Thanks for the good laugh this morning. I agree kill her off in a book! :)

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  4. At least you have an outlet for when people are absolute idiots. The most I can do is mutter under my breath really good but pointless curses such as "may you develop hemorrhoids right before a long plane ride" or "may you have a mouth full of canker sores and an addiction to oranges". I like your way better!

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  5. Too funny! Well, not at the time, I'm sure... ;) Unbelievably inconsiderate and insulting. However, I am so looking forward to your next novel!

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  6. Excellent. Elaine Viets wrote one of her early books while her husband was recovering from cancer treatment. What do you know? A dead oncologist?

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  7. So... after she's murdered in your book.... are you going to leave her a copy at the health club?... be sure she's murdered for being rude and inconsiderate - which given some of today's headlines, isn't such an unlikely event...

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  8. Alice FitzpatrickJune 8, 2012 at 6:04 PM

    Being a mystery writer is the best revenge!

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